10 Things NOT to Say to Someone Who is Grieving

Death is very complicated for the living to process. None of us knows for sure what happens after we die and many of us don’t have any idea about what to say to those who are left behind either. The majority of people don’t mean to offend mourners with their comments, but if you aren’t careful, that might be exactly what you’re doing at a time when they really don’t need any additional stress.

My regular readers know that I lost my father, which my new readers can catch up on in many of my previous posts, but especially in my Letter To Me. The people in my life reacted at all ends of the spectrum when they found out the news about my dad. When someone dies, it really brings out the best and the worst in the people who are left behind. Unfortunately, I’ve experienced both.

Knowing that most people want to be there for their friend or family member after they lose someone close to them, I thought I would share some comments that you should definitely not say as well as what some people said to me that actually made it through the fog. Of course, everyone grieves differently, but I can assure you that the comments below are not helping anyone.

Believe me when I say that I am not trying to sound ungrateful about people trying to provide support. I get it that sometimes people just want to say something but that they don’t really know what is appropriate. Unfortunately, death is a universal experience that we will all go through, and if my “tips” can make someone else’s grief journey even somewhat easier through informing the people around them, then this post was worth writing.


10 Things NOT to Say to Someone Who is Grieving

Any and all clichés. Everyone is aware that “time heals,” but it’s really not helpful to hear comments like this when you are grieving the loss of someone very important to you. At that moment, people don’t really care about how they might feel in 5 years; what they care about is how they feel right now and trying to get through the whole mess of emotions that they are experiencing. When you offer platitudes and clichés, you are really downplaying what someone is going through. I’ll be honest here: it feels very condescending.

Let me know if I can do anything. On the surface, this seems like a very nice comment. However, when you’re grieving, you aren’t thinking clearly or making good decisions. You don’t necessarily know what you need or how to articulate it. Chances are, the person grieving will not “let you know.”

The people in our lives who said, “I’m going to drop off a casserole” (with no expectation to stay and socialize) or “I can come over and walk B for you” made all the difference. It helps so much if you just make the decision to help and give your actions instead of your words.

I know exactly what you’re going through. No, you don’t. Not only is everybody’s grief different, but we also heard this comment from people who had no frame of reference into our experience at all. Grams was approached by an old neighbour and her husband at the grocery store, and the woman told my mom that she knew exactly how she felt…despite the fact that she was holding her husband’s hand and really had no idea (or any business making an insensitive comment like that). Even if the woman had lost her husband, she would still experience the loss differently than Grams did.

Everything will be fine. Will it? How do you know? Overarching statements that minimize how someone is feeling are not helpful.

Comparisons to people you lost. I know that you are trying to be helpful and relate to the mourner, but this isn’t about you. If at any time in your life you need to listen and not judge or provide unsolicited advice, it’s now. Just because you “got over” your dad dying in a few months doesn’t mean that I will too. Every relationship is different and every grief journey is different. People need to respect that and not try to rush things along or downplay the importance of someone’s current feelings.

You can find someone else. Several people said this to Grams and I think it’s the rudest and most thoughtless comment you can make to someone who has just lost their spouse. In fact, one person said it when my dad was still alive but we were fairly certain that he wasn’t going to make it. Some people can’t stand the idea of being alone and “replace” their spouse within a year. Others choose to be alone for the rest of their lives. This is a very personal decision and one that you do not have the right to weigh in on.

Your [person who died] would want you to be strong. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad for as long as someone needs to feel sad. People need to go through the grieving process and making a comment like this sounds like someone’s tears are not acceptable. That is simply not the case. If someone you love dies, of course you’re going to be sad and the worst thing that can happen is to have someone come along and try to make you feel like your feelings are not legitimate or that you’re grieving in the wrong way. Besides, I knew my dad better than you did and he would want me to do whatever I need to do to feel better.

You don’t look sad. If my [person who died] passed away, I would be a lot more upset. I have news: you have no idea how you’re going to react when someone you love dies. You might think that you do but there is no other experience that comes even remotely close to it, so until it happens to you, you don’t know with any certainty. Grief is not measured in tears and no one has the right to judge how someone else is processing what happened either.

Feeling like you have to say anything at all. Sometimes, there are no adequate words and just your presence is enough. Be there for the person who has lost someone. Your text messages are thoughtful, but you in person is even better.

Comments about religion, god, or a master plan. Unless you know that someone is religious, believes in god, or subscribes to the idea of fate, then don’t push your beliefs on them when they are already feeling weak and vulnerable. If they do believe, then of course, garner strength through your faith. If not, it’s best to leave comments like this out of the dialogue.

An exception for me personally is when a close friend of mine says that she will pray for me or that she has been praying for me. While I may not believe anything will come of this exercise, I know that the process means a lot to her, and so it is meaningful to me that she thought of me during her time of reflection. Not every agnostic and especially atheist will agree with my sentiment though.


Final Thoughts

My friend AR means a lot to me. When she approached me at my dad’s funeral, it was the only time I cried that day. Being as close to my dad as I was, trust me, I did not expect that reaction from myself. See what I mean that you simply never know until it happens to you? AR’s kindness and heartfelt emotion moved me so much that I cried with her even though I spent the remainder of the day feeling numb.

She has also been here throughout the process and never judges me for being “further behind” in my grieving than a lot of people expect me to be. AR also provided me with a helpful book recommendation, A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. I will leave you with a quote from it because nothing else has come close to describing how losing my dad feels on a daily basis:

For in grief nothing “stays put.” One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral? But if a spiral, am I going up or down it? How often – will it be for always? – how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, “I never realized my loss until this moment.” The same leg is cut off time after time.



80 thoughts on “10 Things NOT to Say to Someone Who is Grieving

  1. I had a friend who’s mum passed away and it was visibly hard for him, a few weeks later we had our last camp before being senior high schoolers. I was with him on the bus and he started crying, everything was reminding him of his mum I couldn’t say anything I felt like I could do nothing it was horrible. All I did do was put my hand on him and splurt out Do you want to tell me anything. He shook his head and continued to cry, reading this I wish I could’ve been more like your friend I still feel like I’m no good as a friend in this area, thanks for making this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading. Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s really hard to know what to say. I think you did exactly what you should have: you were there beside your friend and you offered comfort. Sometimes the person who is grieving doesn’t want to talk (or they can’t because they are crying). You patiently sitting there and being there for him was probably much appreciated!

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  2. Even as one who is devoted to God, I found two comments distressing as I grieve the loss of my nephew. This one was said by someone who doesn’t believe in God: “He’s in a better place, we hope.” Not helpful. Another person told me, “He’s not suffering any more.” True, but not helpful as I grieve him. Very often, what we don’t say and what we do in actions is so much moe helpful. Nice job writing this article.

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    1. I know people mean well, but sometimes the things they say just hurt worse. People often told me that my dad wasn’t suffering anymore too. To that I say, thank you, Captain Obvious, but I didn’t want him to be suffering in the first place…I wanted him to be well and alive, enjoying his life and making memories with us. These overused phrases really don’t have meaning anymore and it’s so hard to think of something to say back (that isn’t equally unhelpful, lol).

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      1. Soooo true! Yeah, what to say back… “Listen, you — you have no idea about what you’re saying…” Probably not helpful.
        More important is to stick close to the ones who get it, I think.

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  3. Great read! I lost my mother in my early 20s and I always notice how people react when I tell them…that alone could have it’s own book. My father, my brother and myself all grieve differently for the same woman. To say the least her passing has made me more aware of others in any time of loss.

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    1. Thank you. I agree that losing my dad gave me perspective that I didn’t have before (and wish I didn’t have now). I was guilty of making thoughtless comments to people who were experiencing a loss without even realizing that I was being thoughtless. I think people really just don’t know what to say (and I’m jealous of them because that means they haven’t gone through it yet) so I’m hoping this post can help.

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    1. Thank you for reading. It is very difficult and I don’t want well meaning people to inadvertently offend someone who is already suffering. I wish some of the people in my life read a similar list after my dad passed! Some things you just can’t understand until you experience. In this case, ignorance might just be bliss!

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  4. Couldn’t agree more with this list! I lost my father this year and my mother when I was a teenager. The grief is hard for me to deal with and I still constantly get mad when people tell me it’s okay. NO! It’s not okay. I don’t have parents. It won’t be okay. I just learn to live with it. I feel like lots of people have shut me out of their lives since this happened to me because they don’t understand. They don’t know what to do or say because they have never lost a close loved one. I can easily relate to anyone who has lost a loved one and know what to do for them because I have been there. I wish all my personal friends would read this list so that they can get idea of what not to do when around me. Thank you for this post!

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    1. I can’t imagine how disconnected I would feel if I lost both of my parents. Being without my dad is terrible enough…but to lose both parents? I can’t even fathom. And then to have people (likely with one or both parents) tell you that it’s OKAY? Honestly, I wonder if people even hear themselves speak sometimes. It’s like people are so desperate to talk and be heard that they don’t care what they’re saying. Our “me me me” culture is not serving anyone well.

      I am glad that you connected with my list and that it’s not just me who feels this way. I was left gaping in shock at some of the people who offered “condolences” to me and my mother. Of course I’m glad that my friends don’t know what it’s like and can’t relate, but it’s only when they do that they will realize how they should have acted to actually be helpful. It can make grieving so much harder without actual support.

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      1. I agree with you 100%! It is very hard not having parents to go to and the grieving process is very hard. I hope that you have found the support that you need to heal through your grief. Some people just don’t understand that although you may heal over time, the pain of missing a parent never goes away. People also don’t understand that a few days/weeks after the funeral, when everyone goes away, is when you really need the support because reality starts to set in. The only people I have seen as able to provide support during this time are those who have also lost a parent. Sending you hugs and support via the internet! 🙂

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    1. I think if it’s someone you don’t know too well or only have a professional relationship with, a simple, “I’m very sorry for your loss” acknowledges the situation without being overwhelming. Sometimes the person will want to talk about it and sometimes they won’t. I find it’s best to just take their lead.

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  5. When my dad passed away, I just wanted to be alone and just deal with my emotions myself (I was only 16 then). After doing all the religious (Hindu) rituals, I just went to my relatives house next door (as our house was fully packed with people who knew my dad) and just lay there in the bed with my face covered with my hand. Then, few of our relatives just comes into the room, and one of them was my mum’s cousin (so, like an aunt to me). She has got a good sense of humour, but humour was the last thing that I wanted to hear at that point in my life. But she sat there, saying something funny (I know it was funny only because I heard other people laughing at it) and I was getting well annoyed. I remembered that incident all along. A few year ago, this aunt passed away after fighting cancer. But guess what – she was cracking jokes even in her death bed. At that point, I really admired her (in a way!). The ability to stay light hearted and say something funny to make people laugh around you, even when you know you are about to end your journey on this beautiful planet and leave all your loved ones – and that too leaving all your dreams behind, is indeed a blessing. At the end of the day, people are different and they react to grief in different ways (like you mentioned in your article).
    Thanks for this great post. Sadly, I do a lot of what you mentioned in your post, as I really don’t know what to say & I feel pressured (kind of) to say something to make them feel better. Sometimes, being there is just enough I guess.

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    1. I think a lot of people just want to help and make the person feel better. Unfortunately (and as you know from your own experience), nothing is really going to make them feel better. It’s more about just being there and offering your support. There is nothing you can say to “fix it” and when you try, it generally doesn’t help. People just need to go through it and deal with it in their own way. I think it’s when we feel that pressure to speak that we sometimes say things that we later wish we hadn’t.


  6. Good read on a topic that is hard to read or talk about. I am in a difficult situation now, as the doctors have given my grandma a grave prognosis after she suffered a stroke during heart surgery. She is still hanging on with us, but really we know she has no hope of waking up. I am not looking forward to the hollow and attempted words of comfort amongst my grief.

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    1. At a certain point, we knew my dad had no hope of making it through treatment either (but we didn’t like to admit it out loud). You would think that knowledge prepares you for the inevitable, but it doesn’t. Somehow, your mind still hasn’t really processed it and when it happens, it will still be a massive and painful shock. People really do try to help, but at that time, you are not at your best, your most patient, or your most understanding, so when people say ridiculous things to you, it’s a real challenge.

      I am very sorry for what you’re going through and for what you will, by the sounds of it, be going through shortly. I wish there was something I could say to make it better but it’s unfortunately one of those things you just have to experience and get through in your own way. My only advice is to be kind to yourself and to take care of yourself. Give yourself all the time that you need, feel the emotions that you need to feel, and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it either. Everyone processes differently and no one has the right to judge you.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words. It is a really difficult topic because many of us are not comfortable with death (which is understandable because it’s scary and unknown). However, it’s even harder when you think people will be there for you and they aren’t.

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      1. Yes, I understand these thoughts. Loneliness can be tough. I found that friends can help though if nothing else they are there if we need to talk. Maybe that’s the key – available if needed. Peace.

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  7. Please accept my apology for telling you what an amazing person you are over and over again. Many people are unable to express emotions in a meaningful way to others. This post was mainly written to help others; not complain about about ineffective sentiments. It is clear that you have deep caring emotions. You are and were fortunate to be able to experience the pain in losing a loved one. Many in life will never experience the true feeling of love which, in my opinion, is a greater tragedy. Knowing that your father has left a piece of himself within your heart will likely bring a smile and tear to your life forever. Enjoy and appreciate these emotions. I’m certain he would be quite proud of the person you developing into.

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    1. Thank you! I’m so glad you’re back. I am always waiting for your posts and comments, so if I don’t see them right away, I start wondering if you’re okay! I hope that you are. I think you’re an amazing person too!

      At this point, there is nothing that I can do about the experience I had and I’m not bitter about it. However, I have already read comments from people who are interacting with grieving individuals right now and they have expressed that they are going to take my advice to heart. That means SO much to me and is exactly why I wrote the post. If others can benefit from my experience, then I am happy to share it and I will even go so far as to say it was worth going through. Teachable moments are not just for kids! We just have to open our minds and there is so much that we can learn.

      I truly feel so much for people, which can be both a blessing and a curse. There are often times when I will get teary reading people’s comments and their posts about their struggles. I always reach out and try to help because who knows if someone else will or knows how to. I lost my dad too early and it will always make a part of me very sad. However, I also gained valuable perspective that he was always trying to teach me and seemed to only sink in when he died. I might not be religious, but I do believe he lives on through me and that I will always be able to hear his voice in my head. Even when I’m exhausted, I always try to push through and try to make a difference for others because it’s what he would have done. I’ve lost him physically but I will never lose what he taught me and what he stood for. I try to get OUR messages across through my posts.

      This is one of those times I’m getting teary! 🙂 My husband teases me for crying over commercials, so anything to do with my dad and it’s a lost cause!

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      1. You’re a special lady. Tell your husband from me that he is a very fortunate man to have you in his life. I’ll bet the two of you enhance each other’s lives. This thought places a big smile on my face!!

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  8. My father passed away in April 2013 and since then I have definitely had a good shake up and sorted the wheat from the chaff regarding my “friends”. One of my best friends sent me a really bizarre message saying she had heard off the grapevine about my father and was I ok? She knew all the details about my relationship with my mother, sister and half sister and being so much closer to my Dad etc. So for her to come out and ask this was really thoughtless with how the message was worded. This so called friend from that day I have not heard from since, not even a text message or offering to come down and visit etc. My other best friend, who is still my best friend to this day, reacted in a completely different selfless manner. Then you get the “vultures” as I call them just asking you how it happened and wanting all the details that you really do not want to go over. Time is a healer but you heal on YOUR scale and no one else’s. You wallow as long as you want, as short as you want, be happy when you want, laugh and smile when you want. Don’t let anyone else tell you how or when you can grieve and can’t. It’s been two years so far and I agree with your quote; it is very much like having the same leg cut off over and over.

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    1. Thank you for such a thoughtful response!

      I couldn’t agree more – “time” heals but everyone’s timeline is going to be different. There is no set path to follow and no right or wrong way to grieve. Just because something worked for one person doesn’t mean that it will work for you. People can’t expect for you to just heal when they are ready for you to. There will be good days and bad days and even with the distance of years, it’s not like you are going to forget or not be sad that it happened anymore.

      So many false friends come out of the woodwork and some ask very inappropriate questions, I agree. I think that technology helps make life easier in so many ways but it also offers an easy way out. If ever there was an instance when showing up or, at the very least, picking up the phone to talk was warranted, it’s when someone dies. Text messages really don’t show genuine care in my opinion and are not appropriate to send condolences.

      The quote speaks to my experience like nothing else has been able to. It’s a small comfort to know that you aren’t alone and that others are feeling similar emotions.

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  9. Hello! I am on the lookout for Anime bloggers and found your blog. I couldn’t find your contact details, can you please send me an email: alysonburston[at]live.com — It is regarding writing about Anime and Manga type of offer. This isn’t spam btw. Cheers!

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  10. I never say, “I know how you feel.” I do not know how they feel. If it is appropriate I give people who are grieving a hug, with tears in my eyes, and I am silent. Grief is deep, sad, and each person handles grief in a different way. Grief can last for a very long time and that is fine. Nice post

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  11. This post could not be more apt. I really do not think I could have expressed the points you raised better. I, too, lost someone extremely dear to me at a relatively young age and I received ALL of the comments you mentioned above in addition to a few more insensitive ones. I shall definitely be reblogging this post soon.

    Thank you for sharing this x

    New sub!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad my list resonated with you and I’m sorry that you also received the comments that we did. It can make getting through the grieving process that much harder. People always say they “mean well” but I’m not sure how telling my mom to find someone else could have positive vibes behind it. There are certain things that you just keep to yourself!

      Thank you for considering sharing my post and for following along. Much appreciated! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Like you said, people sometimes feel that they need to say something when oftentime they needn’t say anything at all. I really hope the person who said such a horrible thing reads your post and learns from it.

        You’re most welcome, I am really glad I found your blog and especially this post as it has opened up a chapter that I closed off in my life and perhaps need to revisit in order to finally process my grief.

        So thank YOU.

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  12. Thank you for writing this. My family and I had many conversations about this after we lost our Daniel this summer. People have no idea what to say or do. You are so right about the little things that are helpful and when people expect nothing in return.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading.

      I find one of the hardest things to be that people often get sick of listening and stop being there after a week or two. Once the house quiets down and all of the funeral, legal, and financial affairs are settled, the loneliness and isolation can set in. People have their own expectations of when you should be “over it” and they probably won’t understand how terrible they are being until they go through it themselves!


  13. This is a very thoughtful post. I often find myself at a loss for words to comfort a grieving person… I feel that all I can do is to hug them and let them know I am there. I lost my father when I was just 9 years old. I don’t really know what it’s like to grieve, because I wasn’t told about his death for two months, and even then, I wasn’t old enough to completely grasp death. But what I do feel is that losing someone isn’t just one big life altering event. For me, it was a process, a realisation that came in bits and pieces, little by little. Yes, everyone grieves differently, and I completely agree with you that its thr actions that speak more.

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  14. When my grandma recently passed away, my dad took it pretty hard. For me, whenever I’m upset about something, I prefer to be left alone. I remember at my grandma’s viewing at the funeral home, he was just really quiet and to himself most of the time. I think sometimes silence and letting people have time alone is the only way to pass grieving.

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  15. Hi,
    I met you want Danny site. It is always awkward for me when someone experiences grief because I never know what to say. Thank you for these tips. I appreciate you telling me what not to say. When I am experiencing grief and people see these lines, I get mad and resentful For the reasons you stated. Thank you for the understanding.
    From the amount of engaged to readers you have here, many people like me appreciated this post

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I guess I said some dumb things before I knew what it was like to lose a child. Unfortunately the only way some will ever understand grief is to experience it. I think the single one cliché I dread hearing most is: “Everything happens for a reason” as if it was meant to happen so that some good purpose could come out of your tragedy. There is no explanation this side of heaven that will ever satisfy me, my son is irreplaceable in my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, “everything happens for a reason” is another awful one and doesn’t even make sense. It is SO condescending and untrue. People make up all kinds of drivel to try and comprehend the incomprehensible when it’s actually better to just be quiet!


  17. Sorry for your loss. A friend of mine died a month ago, leaving three small children and her husband behind. We had a fallout and had not talked in a year. Even after eight years of strong friendship it felt awkward being back in their lives and yes, it’s extremely hard to say the right thing, if that even exists.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. It will be 2 years in March and it’s still not an easy thing to cope with.

      Kudos to you for at least making the effort and trying to console those left behind. Some people treat you as though you have the plague, which I can assure you is not a nice feeling!


  18. I can relate to so much of this. I think people are generally well meaning but have no idea how they sound. I remember a colleague saying to me “it must be difficult for you, you know as your mum’s, sort of, died”…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with you in that I don’t think *most* people are being malicious when they make comments. They are simply trying to just say something, anything, but unfortunately the wrong thing often comes out and it can make it so much worse for the person dealing with grief. I had a colleague saying, “you’re not even crying. Don’t you care your dad died?” To be honest, I’m not sure what his intention was with a comment like that.

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  19. Excellent. In my work I have encountered each one of these. In my own grief journey I was approached in most of these ways. They come across as insensitive, condescending, and dismissive of your very real pain. I help my clients process these comments every day. Your approach is understanding of all parties and quite helpful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This month marks 2 years since I lost my dad and many people can’t understand why I’m not “over it” yet. Grief is something you need to experience to understand and unless you have (and no, you losing your pets is not the equivalent of me losing my dad), then you should be very careful what you say. Sadly, most people aren’t. I’m glad that someone like you is there to help people get through such a difficult time!


  20. I have recommended this article to s few different people now, most recently to my lawyer. She has been helping me as I serve as executor to the estate of my mother-in-law, the mother of my late wife, which has been quite challenging in itself. In the process we have developed a friendship. She called me last week because someone she knew had lost someone close and she didn’t know what to say to her. I gave some advice and then emailed this post to her. Although I am not currently serving in a church, I am an ordained minister. I think my favorite part of your blog is the last part, on religious talk. These people meant, but had obviously never had a loss that affected them the way ours did. I was a 42 year old man who had just lost his wife of 18 years and I had three kids ages 5/8/12, two of whom are daughters. Here are the religious platitudes I heard how they made me feel:

    “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” – Well he just did. Of course I’ll handle it but that doesn’t help at all. At the moment I am very pissed and God and doubting his existence.

    “She’s in a better place.” – Oh yeah? Have you been there to check it out? I truly hope she is but that does not make it any better here where I have three young children who lost their mom.

    “God is in control.” – You think so, huh? … because to me when God allows a 40 year old mother of three to suffer and die that doesn’t make me feel better at all.

    “This too shall pass.” – This may be the worst. There are so many reasons why this one cuts deep. I don’t f***ing want it to pass. I want her back. You get to go on with your day, have your latte, and go home to your family. I have to start a new life with mine because the one we had is gone. The pain will never pass because that would be forgetting.

    I know to someone who has never experienced a devastating loss these responses probably sound harsh, but they are natural and real nonetheless. I ran across this quote a while back. This is what a grieving person cherished most. It appears this is the kind of friend you have in AR.

    “Sometimes hurting people just need your presence, to sit and drink a cup of coffee with no words spoken. Sometimes all people need is a moment when they are not obligated to share all the details and you’re not pressured to offer advice. When there’s nothing to be said, don’t say a thing. A chance to breath and a friends presence can be two of the most healing things.” From Devotions from the Front Porch, Thomas Nelson publisher.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing my post. I hope that it can be helpful to people and resonate with them. I actually just re-read my post now for the first time in awhile and it brought back a lot of emotions. I have a feeling that after 2 years, no one close to me will even remember that March is the month I lost my dad or remember to say anything at all. Life goes on for those who aren’t impacted by the death in a way that it never really does for those who are. Whether it’s 2 years or it’s 10 years, I will always remember the day I lost my dad and I will always feel the loss. There are always so many people around you when someone first dies, but then it trickles off. After 2 months let alone 2 years, no one even thinks to ask you about it anymore.

      I really like that quote; thank you for sharing it. I have struggled with faith on and off for years and when I lost my dad, I lost my faith completely. It is only very recently that I am able to say that I believe in God again but I still do not participate in any kind of organized religion. I think faith is very personal and I don’t need to be in a church performing rituals to feel God’s presence. I’m glad that I can, in fact, feel it again though because at one point (even when I was writing this post), I thought that I would be an atheist forever.


  21. I have struggled just as much as, even as a minister. I believe I have a much healthier, realistic relationship with God now. I too, give much less time to church attendance now. I find a personal faith much more fulfilling.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I lost my dad only a few months ago. I could not possibly agree with this list any more! Each item were things that made me cringe and fill with anger when they happened. Despite having gone through this, I still don’t know what to say to someone who is encountering a similar trial. I know sometimes the best option is to say nothing at all, but it’s still challenging to find the right thing to say/do to help someone. Since your journey has been longer, what might you suggest?


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