Motivation Monday #2: Be Present and Stop Worrying

Last week, I posted my first Motivation Monday quote. I am still working through a lot at the moment, so I thought that I would share another one of my favourite quotes with you this week because it’s very top of mind in my life right now. Recently, we had a health scare with B. I spent over a week completely stressed out, physically sick with worry, and crying countless tears. B has already been through so much (which is a post I am going to write soon) and I couldn’t stand the thought of him having to deal with anything else. It turned out to be nothing, thank God, which made me really examine my response to the situation and how I can do better next time.

My worry did absolutely nothing to improve B’s situation. In fact, all it did was cause him to have anxiety because he could tell that his mama was upset. I wasted so many hours worrying about something that didn’t even happen. If I stop and think about how many hours over the course of my life that I have spent obsessing over and analysing “what if” situations that never come to fruition, it would be an astronomical figure. And it needs to stop. I am not doing my health and overall wellness any favours by putting my body through needless stress and there are some situations in life that we simply have no control over. My new approach is to worry about things as I need to and not a second before.

My regular readers know much my dad meant to me and March marks the anniversary of losing him. I can clearly hear him telling me to let things go, to stop worrying, to enjoy the present moment, and to just focus on being happy. His wish for me is something that I am going to really focus on doing for him because I know how happy it would make him if I was able to just relax. My husband is so much like my dad (one of the many reasons I committed my life to being with him) and he is always echoing my dad’s advice. He will say, “babe, there is nothing that we can do about this right now and it might not even happen. Let’s deal with it when we need to. I love you, now please stop.” And I am finally going to listen!

I am going to let you in on a secret: a few weeks ago, my company did some restructuring and I lost my job. I fully confess to being a ball of worry for the first week, but I’ve changed my thinking about the situation. I actively tell myself that I need to focus on the things that I can control (networking, applying for jobs, getting objective advice, and updating my skill set) and that I can’t worry about when I will find a job. Real talk: I’m 29 years old and I have a lot of years ahead of me to work. It’s a matter of “when” I find a new job and not “if.”

So, until that fateful day when I walk into my new company to start the next phase of my career, I am going to spend my time searching for my next gig (and it’s going to be a great one!), enjoying the beautiful weather on long walks with B, working out twice a day, and cooking healthy creations in the kitchen. I can hardly believe it myself, but I honestly feel relaxed about my situation and I am not obsessing over it. If you change your thinking, you will change your life. If I can do it, so can you!

Confession time: are you a worry wart?

Worry

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50 thoughts on “Motivation Monday #2: Be Present and Stop Worrying

  1. Excellent quote. Sorry for the loss of your job, that situation can be stressful. Toss in a health scare and things can quickly snowball out of control. Your dad as well as you hubby have given you very sound advice. While you cannot control the things that are happening in your life you can control how you react to them. I wish you well on your job hunt and eventual new position.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I have definitely been slammed by a lot of issues over the last few weeks but you’re exactly right when you say that all I can do is control my own reaction to them. I’m sure that when I started working and commuting again, I will look back on this time at home and miss it, lol. The worst thing that you can do in a stressful situation is sit around and worry about it, so I am going to consciously stop doing that and focus on self care instead, which is something I am working hard to improve.

      Thank you for reading! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re very welcome, this was a good read and you’re right in that when you look back on this time you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about. Losing a job is tough emotionally, financially and physically as we’ve grown accustomed to our routines but when you look at it as a transition it helps you make it to the next step.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post. I had just published a post titled “What If?” prior to reading this, and I definitely am of the school of thought that it’s wasted effort worrying about things that you can’t change. Better to focus on what you CAN do, and try and affect change that way.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s exactly it – I set small, manageable goals for myself, i.e. apply for 3 jobs today, reach out to 2 people in my network, research a course I’d like to take. Then I feel a sense of accomplishment even though my big goal of “land a new job” still may be a ways off. But that’s okay because worrying won’t make it happen for me any faster and will just make me feel sick with stress – and no one wants that!

      It’s the same thing with my weight loss goal. If I stop and think about how much I have to lose, I get depressed. But if I focus on weekly goals and celebrate my small successes (which will all add up to a big success down the road), then I’m a much happier and more balanced person. Similar to guilt, worry has never done any good for anyone!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sorry about B and losing your job. It’s still tough and work to find a new job, when you used to have a good one. But you have a great attitude and I think that will land you an awesome new position in your field somewhere. Being positive is always a plus. Best of luck and thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is absolutely a challenge to find a comparable gig, especially in our current economy. It’s not quite like 2008, but I’d say it’s comparable to 2011. However, outside of what I’m already doing, there’s nothing else that I can do to speed up the process. So, for now, all I can do is enjoy my “me” time and know that I will land a job eventually. It’s not easy and I’m definitely not trying to suggest that it is, but worry would only make things worse and drive me crazy…and who wants to hire a crazy person?! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I too am a chronic worrier! I have been working on living in the moment and relaxing in situations that I have no control over but recently some things have happened and I fell back into the frenzy of worry! Your article is full of truth and I needed to be reminded of that, so THANK YOU!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It can be easy to fall back into damaging patterns and it is a constant struggle for me. I am doing very well with the job loss though and just living in the moment. I’ve come to terms with the fact that there’s nothing I can do, so I’m just going with it. It’s a great feeling! Making myself sick wouldn’t help anything.

      Thank you for reading πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Your company did you a favor by letting you go. You were unhappy and stressed out in that environment. This “letting you go” gives you an opportunity to focus on improving yourself AND your health. This is a GREAT OPPORTUNITY. I’m certain you will make the most of it! Say hello to the gang for me. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am absolutely using this time as an opportunity for self-care. I’ve lost more weight, I’m feeling stronger and healthier than I have in a long time, and despite the fact that I’m currently job-less, I’m happy. A job will come and there are more important things in life. I am definitely growing as a person and it’s a great feeling!

      B sends boxer kisses!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Sorry to hear about your week, but glad B is okay. Worry is a tough one. I’ve been riddled with anxiety all my life and I think its contributed to some of my health problems. I try and take things a day at a time now, which is easier said then done. If I find I’m worried I ask myself “do I have any control over this?” If I don’t, I try to focus on what I can do or what I can control, such as how I react. It’s a constant work in progress.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s a constant struggle for me as well. I have to talk to myself in the same way that you do and remind myself to spend my time in a different way. I have made myself sick with worrying before and I never want to do that again. I am so focused on the physical in terms of my health and fitness, but I need to be mindful about mental and emotional health, too. It’s not easy but I really need to eliminate “what if” from my vocabulary!

      My baby boy being okay is the most important thing to me. Jobs can be replaced, but family cannot πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Thank you for writing so honestly about where you currently find yourself. The saying “this too shall pass” comes to mind. If you have been on my site, you know that I am passionate about the next generation (spirit, soul and body). That is why I blog and is also the reason I got involved with a company called uTHRiV, a Christian based whole foods nutrition company. As you are pondering your next move, please pray about becoming an entrepreneur. (www.uthriv.com/Joyco). This is not a solicitation comment, just another idea for your prayerful consideration. Thanks again for your honesty. I referred a friend to your site after reading your article on marriage. Continue to stay encouraged as you encourage so many others!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have actually been considering starting my own business. There’s no time like the present, right? It might have been just the push that I need to do something great πŸ™‚

      Thank you for your kind words and for the referral to my site! Much appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I used to be a worry wart when I was younger. Everything used to give me anxiety, its crazy to see how much I’ve grown from that though. I agree, its all in the mindset ❀ We all have obstacles to overcome, we just have to believe we can!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Glad the health scare was only that, a scare. Your husband sounds so much like mine. He is very level headed and rarely worries where I tend to analyse things and worry too much. But I’m trying to worry less as I know it’s fruitless and really does rob us of the joy in the present, just like your great quote says. Sorry to hear about your job but see it as a new opportunity to change direction, perhaps great things are around the corner for you. Wonderful timely post, thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I marvel at my husband and look at him in the same way that I used to look at my dad. They are both so calm and at peace with everything and just able to take things as they come. It’s a blessing for me to have my dad live on through my husband and it’s great to live with someone who balances me. I’d be a mess without JP!

      Thank you for reading and I’m glad that you could relate πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  10. So glad to see that B is okay! Your attitude is great. Sometimes, it is hard to not worry, but I do my best to do as you are, concentrate on the things that you can control and work on things in small steps. I must tell you this one, though. My husband passed away almost 10 years ago, from cancer. Afterwards, I was so worried that others that I cared about would also die. I am fortunate that I still have my mom and dad around – at ages 80 and 82. They had gone to church and weren’t back when they normally are. I started worrying, but tried to be calm. After a couple of hours, I called the local police to see if there had been an accident on their route. No, thank God. When they finally got home and I told them I was worried about them, they said they had forgotten to tell me that they were going to stop by a friends house on their way home. We now laugh that I actually “called the police on them,” but at the time, I was in a panic.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. B was my main concern and I am so relieved that my little monster is still healthy and happy πŸ™‚

      My father also passed away from cancer and I do worry that other people in my life will get sick (and I also worry about myself!).

      However, I try to take the same approach with that awful worry and just do what I can – eat clean, workout, and take care of my mind, body, and spirit (and encourage others to do the same). It’s all any of us can do.

      That is a sweet story about your parents – I’m sure that they appreciate your concern. My husband, JP, is a trades guy and sometimes when I don’t hear from him for several hours, I wonder if he has been hurt at work. He does his best to keep in touch throughout the day, but sometimes he can’t, so I try not to let my mind go down that path!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Loved it! I am a student and I’m already worrying too much about my future hypothetical job and how my life would be. This post has appeased my frantic mind πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I envy people who can naturally and easily live stress and worry free. There is plenty of time for anxiety IF whatever you’re concerned about actually happens. I will keep working hard at being mindful of my headspace.

      I’m very sorry for your loss.

      Like

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